stiletto – a short knife or dagger with a long slender blade ending in a rigid pointed end, primarily used for stabbing as its shape allows for deep penetration.

Ok. Maybe phallic but definitely not feminine.

stiletto heel – a thin, high heel, named after the stiletto dagger, found on some women’s boots and shoes.

They are in current fashion so keep the look feminine.  Do pretty colors, simple embellishments, and flattering cuts. Avoid pointy toes, platforms, metal (including grommets and rivets), and shiny or clear vinyl.