“Nothing is worse than a stupid man – leave a fool where he stands. Criminals too! And, for God’s sake, DO NOT reproduce him.” – Auntie Vanessa

How many times did I hear this growing up? From Mom, from both my Grandmas, from my other aunts, from my older cousins . . .

Of course, their definition of stupid extended beyond your basic smarts. If a man’s place is to head the home and a man is not particularly capable of leading, he’d fall into the stupid category. No questions asked.

To them, no man with any sense would even approach a woman whom he is incapable of providing for. It would be ridiculous. And I, under no circumstances, was to bother with anyone, especially a male, without any sense. Of course, as a young girl, a cute guy could catch my eye . . . which would inevitably lead to

“Cute?! You’re thinking like a man. How are his studies? What does he want to do when he grows up? Who are his parents?” – various relatives most notably Mom


Men are visual; they seek out the most healthy women to carry and bear their children. Barring a medical questionnaire, a man assesses a woman’s health by her physical symmetry, her weight, the condition of her hair and skin, her behavior, etc.

Women, on the other hand, seek out the most capable men to provide for both her and any children they may produce. Barring an audit, a woman assesses a man’s ability from his social status, financial status, profession, intelligence, etc.

It is what it is. Nature is queen and she operates in perfect order. Her rules provide the best chances for producing stable, healthy people. Unfortunately, those same rules can create skirt chasers and gold diggers.

And therein lies the difference between being raised and simply being allowed to age into physical maturity.

Raise your children or enable them to become people whom society will never appreciate.