positive reinforcement n the offering of desirable effects or consequences for a behavior with the intention of increasing the chance of that behavior being repeated in the future.

Focus is placed on the positive deed. You smile. You say thank you. You show appreciation. When you receive a positive, you give a positive.

negative reinforcement n the reinforcing of a response by giving an averse stimulus when the response is not made and omitting the averse stimulus when the response is made.

Focus is placed on the negative response. You nag. You are uncooperative. You throw shade or show spite. When you give a negative, you receive a positive. Or, you receive a positive so that you won’t give a negative.

punishment n the act of punishing; a penalty inflicted for an offense, fault, etc.; serves as retribution.

Focus is placed on the negative deed. You give him the cold shoulder. You go off to teach him a lesson. When you receive a negative, you give a negative.

Of the three, positive reinforcement is the best at effectively altering behavior for the long term.

It also is the best one for keeping your femininity intact.