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If you understand

For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. William Ross Wallace

then you also understand

The true worth of a race must be measured by the character of its womanhood. Mary McLeod Bethune


  1. Make good choices.
  2. Recognize poor choices and if possible, correct them.
  3. Accept only what truly benefits you and dismiss everything else.

Gentleness, patience, and kindness are elements of basic human decency, as Maya pointed out in yesterday’s comments.


Your femininity flows directly from your ability to authentically embody them.

These virtues are the foundation of your femininity.


Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water. Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it. The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid. – Tao Te Ching


If you have patience, then you’ll also have love. Patience leads to love. If you forcefully open the petals of a bud, you won’t be able to enjoy its beauty and fragrance. Only when it blossoms by following its natural course, will the beauty and fragrance of a flower unfold. – Amma


Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. – Leo F. Buscaglia

Femininity without gentleness, patience, and kindness is a facade.

And a rather short-lived one considering that harpies demand light.

Better than anyone else, you know who you are.

Decide who you want to be and keep moving toward it.

If, at a very basic level, femininity is simply gentleness, patience, and kindness


if, above all else, men value femininity in women and most especially in those they consider for relationships,

Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage.

It seems easier to act as though differences don’t exist and to hope things will work out

than it is

to face the differences and work together to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations.

from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People


Just do it. Be the woman you want to be. Create the life you desire.

Acting as though and hoping do not work.

And, in the words of Auntie Vanessa,

Stupid won’t save you.

reason (n) the faculty of rational argument, deduction, judgment, etc; sound mind; sanity.

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

rationality (n) a virtue; the state or quality of having or exercising reason, sound judgment, good sense, or logic; reasonableness.

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

– Buddha

When Reason speaks to you, harken what she says, and you shall be saved.

Make good use of her utterances, and you shall be as one armed.

For the Lord has given you no better guide than Reason, no stronger arm than Reason.

When Reason speaks to your inmost self, you are proof against Desire.

For Reason is a prudent minister, a loyal guide, and a wise counselor.

Reason is light in darkness, as anger is darkness amidst light.

Be wise — let Reason, not Impulse, be your guide.

– Kahlil Gibran, The Voice of the Master

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

courage (n) a virtue; the quality of mind or spirit to face difficulty in spite of fear or doubt; bravery; the deliberate decision that action is necessary regardless.

Courage is admitting that you’re afraid and facing that fear directly. It’s being strong enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept it.

Courage is standing up for what you believe in without worrying about the opinions of others. It’s following your own heart, living your own life, and settling for nothing less than the best for yourself.

Courage is daring to take a first step, a big leap, or a different path. It’s attempting to do something that no one has done before and all others thought impossible.

Courage is keeping heart in the face of disappointment and looking at defeat not as an end but as a new beginning. It’s believing that things will ultimately get better even as they get worse.

Courage is being responsible for your own actions and admitting your own mistakes without placing blame on others. It’s relying not on others for your success, but on your own skills and efforts.

Courage is refusing to quit even when you’re intimidated by impossibility. It’s choosing a goal, sticking with it, and finding solutions to the problems.

Courage is thinking big, aiming high, and shooting far. It’s taking a dream and doing anything, risking everything, and stopping at nothing to it make it a reality.

by Caroline Kent

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. – Dale Carnegie

If you

  • read about making positive changes while making no actual changes,
  • know, in your heart, that your way does not bring you the peace, love, or joy that you so desire yet refuse to do what is necessary to bring you those very things,
  • in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, dismiss the honest truth that something is wrong and more than likely it is you,

You are inactive and probably ineffective at getting what you want as a woman.

Femininity is active. You have to be it.

Meanwhile, doubt and fear breed desperation.

And desperation is just unattractive.

There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true. — Søren Kierkegaard

Men are men. They are not women. And they do not think like women.
When a man says or does something, take it at face value, and watch his actions.
If his actions are consistent with what he says, take him at his word.
If his actions are inconsistent with what he says, do not take him at his word.

That’s it.
There is nothing to analyze.
There is nothing to read into.
There is no magic.

Reality does not care whether you like this or not.
It is what it is.

In this country, a woman is free to change her attitude, demeanor, or whole philosophy at her whim.

Mother Nature, however, has rules. And you get to choose whether or not to go along with the rules of nature on this planet. It is your choice.

Either way Mother Nature’s rules still stand.
She does not care whether you like this or not.
It is what it is.

Newton’s Third Law of Motion: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.

Choose to make fundamental changes in what you bring to the table as a woman, expect him to seek what he continues to want in a woman somewhere else OR to make fundamental changes in what he brings to the table as a man.

Only a fool would believe anything different.

I’m back from a lovely, peaceful vacation! Having spent good quality time with family and friends, I am well rested and ready to get back into the swing of things.

Unfortunately, reality appeared sooner rather than later. On the way home, I saw a bumper sticker:

A woman needs only two things in life . . . a horse to make her feel beautiful, and a jackass to pay for it all!


So the man who would grant you your dream is a jackass.

Vacation over.

My first thought was that this car owner must be lesbian. And one who really dislikes men.

Only a woman who has no need, desire, or love for any male would so publicly display such an attitude.

But reality points squarely at harpy.

And I remembered why I even started this blog. I needed to remind myself of who I am. And who I am not. I need reminders because there are so many harpies and their attitude is so prevalent.

Ignorance is defined as a lack of knowledge. If a woman doesn’t know that she is heterosexual, she lacks knowledge of self. On that particular aspect, she is ignorant. Know thyself.

Stupidity is defined as possessing knowledge yet behaving as if ignorant. If a woman knows she is heterosexual and displays outright disrespect for men, she is stupid. Check your lane.