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Perhaps I can create a feminine version of this

Or even better, this


A good hostess is

  1. Comfortable. She sets the mood for the party and so is light-hearted, relaxed, and sociable. Her space is open, welcoming, and festive. Food and drink are located in a way that encourage guests to move throughout the room(s). And there are adequate seating and surfaces to rest glasses and plates.
  2. Ready. She has double checked the details. Every space a guest may visit is spotless and supplied. Extra necessities are tucked neatly away in convenient locations. She is dressed and prepared to receive guests at least an hour early.
  3. Hospitable. Her guests are made to feel special. She greets everyone personally, points out where everything is located, and makes introductions. It is important that each guest is comfortable and engaged.
  4. A member of the party. She does a fine job of replenishing food, drink, etc. and tidying up. She also takes deep breaths, remembers that this is actually fun, and she thoroughly enjoys herself.

“So, we have acknowledged that the key to successful relationships may lie partly in embracing our femininity;

but how do we go about using our feminine powers to make it all happen?” continue reading


Grace a stranger with your smile?

Show tangible kindness or generosity?

Uplift another’s accomplishment?

Share beneficial information?

Create something beautiful  . . . or useful  . . . or both?

Demonstrate solid morals and strong values?

Present only your best self?

Pretty is as pretty does.

for Sheree

The Miller, His Son, and Their Ass

A MILLER and his son were driving their Ass to a neighboring fair to sell him.

They had not gone far when they met with a troop of women collected round a well, talking and laughing. “Look there,” cried one of them, “did you ever see such fellows, to be trudging along the road on foot when they might ride?’ The old man hearing this, quickly made his son mount the Ass, and continued to walk along merrily by his side.

Presently they came up to a group of old men in earnest debate. “There,” said one of them, “it proves what I was a-saying. What respect is shown to old age in these days? Do you see that idle lad riding while his old father has to walk? Get down, you young scapegrace, and let the old man rest his weary limbs.” Upon this the old man made his son dismount, and got up himself.

In this manner they had not proceeded far when they met a company of women and children: “Why, you lazy old fellow,” cried several tongues at once, “how can you ride upon the beast, while that poor little lad there can hardly keep pace by the side of you?’ The good-natured Miller immediately took up his son behind him.

They had now almost reached the town. “Pray, honest friend,” said a citizen, “is that Ass your own?’ “Yes,” replied the old man. “O, one would not have thought so,” said the other, “by the way you load him. Why, you two fellows are better able to carry the poor beast than he you.” “Anything to please you,” said the old man; “we can but try.”

So, alighting with his son, they tied the legs of the Ass together and with the help of a pole endeavored to carry him on their shoulders over a bridge near the entrance to the town. This entertaining sight brought the people in crowds to laugh at it, till the Ass, not liking the noise nor the strange handling that he was subject to, broke the cords that bound him and, tumbling off the pole, fell into the river.

Upon this, the old man, vexed and ashamed, made the best of his way home again, convinced that by endeavoring to please everybody he had pleased nobody, and lost his Ass in the bargain.

Moral: Try to please all and you will please none.

When you know your own voice and use it, you will put people off even if that is truly not your intent.

You must choose. Do you prefer to speak your truth or to make lots of friends?

Hint: speaking your truth will garner you like-minded friends. These are diamonds and absolutely the best kind 🙂

If you desire high quality, you must be high quality.

Neither a degree, the latest fashions, nor perfect etiquette equal high quality.

Focus on your femininity, your character, and your disposition.

Take care.

Your life will perfectly reflect their quality . . . or the lack thereof.

And you never know who’s watching.

Do you bring sunshine, light, and grace to others?


Do people hate to see you coming?

Being happy and positive 100% of the time is unrealistic. But is it really anyone’s business that you’re not having a great day?

Especially when that is not a good look.

Being pleasant does not require bending over backward for non-reciprocating others, dismissing slights or outright personal attacks, or defending poor choices or wrong doing. In fact, each of these examples is a blatant show of weakness.

A pleasant demeanor, at the very least, does require that you do nothing to negatively affect others simply by having been in your presence.

At its best, a pleasant demeanor lifts the spirits of those around you.

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. – Joseph Addison

I’m back from a lovely, peaceful vacation! Having spent good quality time with family and friends, I am well rested and ready to get back into the swing of things.

Unfortunately, reality appeared sooner rather than later. On the way home, I saw a bumper sticker:

A woman needs only two things in life . . . a horse to make her feel beautiful, and a jackass to pay for it all!


So the man who would grant you your dream is a jackass.

Vacation over.

My first thought was that this car owner must be lesbian. And one who really dislikes men.

Only a woman who has no need, desire, or love for any male would so publicly display such an attitude.

But reality points squarely at harpy.

And I remembered why I even started this blog. I needed to remind myself of who I am. And who I am not. I need reminders because there are so many harpies and their attitude is so prevalent.

Ignorance is defined as a lack of knowledge. If a woman doesn’t know that she is heterosexual, she lacks knowledge of self. On that particular aspect, she is ignorant. Know thyself.

Stupidity is defined as possessing knowledge yet behaving as if ignorant. If a woman knows she is heterosexual and displays outright disrespect for men, she is stupid. Check your lane.

You can’t be envious and happy at the same time. – Frank Tyger

Decide which one works best for you.

To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self. – Joan Didion

Put simply, get a life – one of your own.

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own. – Harold Coffin

Count your blessings. They are the truth of your life.

SBW = Strong Black Woman

The Mischievous Dog by Aesop

A Dog used to run up quietly to the heels of everyone he met and to bite them without notice. His master suspended a bell about his neck so that the Dog might give notice of his presence wherever he went. Thinking it a mark of distinction, the Dog grew proud of his bell and went tinkling it all over the marketplace. One day an old hound said to him: “Why do you make such an exhibition of yourself? That bell that you carry is not, believe me, any order of merit, but on the contrary a mark of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill-mannered dog.”

Those who achieve notoriety often mistake it for fame.

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