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(n) simple style, dignity, or elegance; the opposite of flashy or garish.

Class: How to Look the Part

  • Sparse make-up in neutral tones. Take care. The skin must be flawless to do this. The goal is the appearance of flawless, naked skin with subtle accents rather than a fully made up look.
  • Clothing is in subtle, tasteful colors. You don’t have to stick to neutrals.
  • Appropriate undergarments. Start with a good base. This just causes your outfit appear to be on purpose rather than without thought or consideration.
  • Hem lengths are never too high and necklines are never too low.
  • Fabrics are ironed and look sharp.
  • Shoes coordinate with the handbag. The two do not have to be the same color.
  • Clothing fits properly and appropriately.
  • With accessories, simple is best. Less is more.
  • Skip the skinny jeans and leggings as pants. Trendy maybe but never classy.
  • Brand names are not necessary but quality is easily recognizable. Opt for tailoring details, luxe fabrics such as cashmere, silks, and fine woolens.
  • Spend the money on quality shoes.
  • Practice posture and grace.
  • Maintain impeccable grooming.


Harpy (n) from Greek mythology, “one that snatches”; a ravenous, filthy monster having the head and trunk of a woman and the wings and claws of a bird.

In current use, it refers to a nasty or annoying woman; a scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman who destroys all that makes him what he is; she who snatches his soul.

  1. She is two-faced. She uses one for him and one for everyone else.
  2. When greeting him, she rarely says hello, how was your day, or glad to see you.
  3. With him, she is generous with complaints, demands, or whining in general.
  4. She insists, passively or aggressively, that he conform to her way.
  5. She infallible.
  6. She fully expects to be treated lovingly just because she exists.
  7. She is both argumentative and spiteful.
  8. She is both selfish and fiercely independent.
  9. She is generally uncooperative.
  10. She opts for a facade rather than actual femininity, elegance, or grace.

Dressing it up does not work. The result is simply a pretty harpy.

And harpies are repulsive . . . most especially to men!

Check your lane.

On one occasion, the Buddha was invited by the Brahmin Bharadvaja for alms to his house. As invited, the Buddha visited the house of the Brahmin.

Instead of entertaining Him, the Brahmin poured forth a torrent of abuse with the filthiest of words.

The Buddha politely inquired:

“Do visitors come to your house, good Brahmin?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“What do you do when they come?”

“Oh, we prepare a sumptuous feast.”

“What do you if they refuse to receive the meal?”

“Why, we gladly partake of them ourselves.”

“Well, good Brahmin, you have invited me for alms and entertained me with abuse which I decline to accept. So now it belongs to you.”

You make things worse
when you flare up
at someone who’s angry.
Whoever doesn’t flare up
at someone who’s angry
wins a battle
hard to win.
– Buddha, Akkosa Sutta

Beyond all doubt,

Arguing with a fool proves there are two. – Doris M. Smith

Never argue with a fool – they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. – unknown

Arguing with a fool + being out argued by said fool = an Epic Fail.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way. – Josh Billings

If you respect neither the person nor his intelligence, what do you care what he thinks?

Your every word, deed, and action reveals your character.

And, there is not enough feminine attire, graceful deportment, or proper etiquette in the world to cover who you truly are.

Choose your lane wisely.

Whatever you allow to occupy your mind, you magnify in your life.

Whether the subject of your thought be good or bad, the law works and the condition grows. Any subject that you keep out of your mind tends to diminish in your life, because what you do not use atrophies.

The more you think of grievances, the more such trials you will continue to receive; the more you think of the good fortune you have had, the more good fortune will come to you. 

from Make Your Life Worthwhile

Take care of where* you place your energy.

*people, places, things, words, deeds, and actions.

Nothing endures but change. – Heraclitus

Change is inevitable. Change is constant. – Benjamin Disraeli

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

adaptability (n) a virtue; the ability to change to fit changed circumstances in order to succeed; to maintain effectiveness in a changing environment; to adjust by gathering relevant information and applying critical thinking for your benefit.

If you are on a road to nowhere, find another road. – Unknown

Bend and you will be straight. – Tao Tzu

Donkey in the Well

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw. As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey did something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. Shake it off and take a step up.

Moanin’ and groanin’ does not help your plight. Shut it up and step up your game. – Auntie Vanessa

Stay in the best light 🙂

Prom = Spring + Youth.




Modest yet modern and figure flattering.

Skip shiny. Skip sparkling. Skip sexy. Skip show stopping.

Be a vision of femininity rather than a side show spectacle.

Tact is a social grace. It is the art of navigating the delicate or difficult situation. It is the ability to get a point across without undue upset to the listener.

It is a skill . . . perfect for the feminine woman.

Be clear on what tact is not.

It is not a lie – outright or by omission. It is not euphemism intended to cloud or dismiss an issue or mislead the unknowing. And it is not silence.

These, by default, are approvals. Be careful.

Accept less, get less.

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

tact (n) a virtue; a sense of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others, so as to avoid giving offense or to win good will; a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; discrimination; discretion; diplomacy; incorporates both honesty and compassion.

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people. – Spencer Johnson

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. – Sir Isaac Newton

It is tact that is golden, not silence. – Samuel Butler

Saying thank you is a necessary but common courtesy. There’s little investment. You do your part just by saying it. Nothing has to follow.

To reciprocate, however, invests in a relationship. It indicates interdependence. And in a romantic relationship, this is a very good thing. Reciprocation is circular.  When you return a favor, you tend to get more favors.


  1. Be present. In the moment, if you like, say so, show appreciation, extend a compliment, etc. In the moment, if you don’t like, discreetly show or voice your disapproval.
  2. If he is pursuing you, you are not the initiator. You reciprocate or not. This is how you show your approval or disapproval.
  3. Respond in kind, correspondent or equivalent. Avoid trying to ramp things up in order to produce a certain outcome (see #1 & #2).

Invest in Something Precious