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A good hostess is

  1. Comfortable. She sets the mood for the party and so is light-hearted, relaxed, and sociable. Her space is open, welcoming, and festive. Food and drink are located in a way that encourage guests to move throughout the room(s). And there are adequate seating and surfaces to rest glasses and plates.
  2. Ready. She has double checked the details. Every space a guest may visit is spotless and supplied. Extra necessities are tucked neatly away in convenient locations. She is dressed and prepared to receive guests at least an hour early.
  3. Hospitable. Her guests are made to feel special. She greets everyone personally, points out where everything is located, and makes introductions. It is important that each guest is comfortable and engaged.
  4. A member of the party. She does a fine job of replenishing food, drink, etc. and tidying up. She also takes deep breaths, remembers that this is actually fun, and she thoroughly enjoys herself.

Do you bring sunshine, light, and grace to others?


Do people hate to see you coming?

Being happy and positive 100% of the time is unrealistic. But is it really anyone’s business that you’re not having a great day?

Especially when that is not a good look.

Being pleasant does not require bending over backward for non-reciprocating others, dismissing slights or outright personal attacks, or defending poor choices or wrong doing. In fact, each of these examples is a blatant show of weakness.

A pleasant demeanor, at the very least, does require that you do nothing to negatively affect others simply by having been in your presence.

At its best, a pleasant demeanor lifts the spirits of those around you.

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. – Joseph Addison

Tact is a social grace. It is the art of navigating the delicate or difficult situation. It is the ability to get a point across without undue upset to the listener.

It is a skill . . . perfect for the feminine woman.

Be clear on what tact is not.

It is not a lie – outright or by omission. It is not euphemism intended to cloud or dismiss an issue or mislead the unknowing. And it is not silence.

These, by default, are approvals. Be careful.

Accept less, get less.

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

tact (n) a virtue; a sense of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others, so as to avoid giving offense or to win good will; a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; discrimination; discretion; diplomacy; incorporates both honesty and compassion.

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people. – Spencer Johnson

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. – Sir Isaac Newton

It is tact that is golden, not silence. – Samuel Butler

A genuine smile positively affects everyone in your vicinity and you reap some pretty decent benefits as well.


  1. Makes you instantly attractive
  2. Alters a bad mood
  3. Is contagious
  4. Relieves stress
  5. Boosts your immune system
  6. Lowers your blood pressure
  7. Releases endorphins, natural pain killers and serotonin
  8. Lifts the face and makes you look younger
  9. Makes you appear successful
  10. Helps you to stay positive

from Top 10 Reasons to Smile

Try to smile more often. With all of the positives, it certainly can’t hurt 🙂

Let your manners speak, your deeds prove and your delivery impress. – Yogi Tea tag

To begrudge another woman’s status, education, possessions, appearance, etc.

highlights not only the fact that you don’t have it

but also that you want what she has yet

  • are either unable or unwilling to do what it takes to get it and
  • are negatively affected by the fact that she has it.

This, by far, is the most effective way to broadcast your personal insecurities and shortcomings.

Just know that this knowledge can and will probably be used against you.

Hint: If you don’t have anything nice to say, best not to say anything at all.

(includes the side eye, grimaces, and spiteful behavior)


  1. Treat others as you would like to be treated (gold)
  2. Do not treat others in ways you would not like to be treated (silver)

Androcles by Aesop

A slave named Androcles once escaped from his master and fled to the forest. As he was wandering about there he came upon a Lion lying down moaning and groaning. At first he turned to flee, but finding that the Lion did not pursue him, he turned back and went up to him. As he came near, the Lion put out his paw, which was all swollen and bleeding, and Androcles found that a huge thorn had got into it, and was causing all the pain. He pulled out the thorn and bound up the paw of the Lion, who was soon able to rise and lick the hand of Androcles like a dog. Then the Lion took Androcles to his cave, and every day used to bring him meat from which to live. But shortly afterwards both Androcles and the Lion were captured, and the slave was sentenced to be thrown to the Lion, after the latter had been kept without food for several days. The Emperor and all his Court came to see the spectacle, and Androcles was led out into the middle of the arena. Soon the Lion was let loose from his den, and rushed bounding and roaring towards his victim. But as soon as he came near to Androcles he recognised his friend, and fawned upon him, and licked his hands like a friendly dog. The Emperor, surprised at this, summoned Androcles to him, who told him the whole story. Whereupon the slave was pardoned and freed, and the Lion let loose to his native forest.

Moral: Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

patient (adj) bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like; quietly and steadily persevering or diligent.

patience (n) the quality of being patient; an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; even-tempered care.

Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength. – Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. – Lao Tse

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew. – St. Francis de Sales

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passive (adj) subject to action(s) without response or initiation of an action in return; lacking in energy or will; submitting to others or to outside influences; lack of initiative; inactivity.

Shows more respect for others than for self. Ex. You’re okay, I’m not.

Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength, and power. – William Moulton Marston

aggressive (adj) hostile, perhaps violent; deliberately unfriendly; quarrelsome; use of rude or bad behavior.

Shows favor for self over others however, ultimately indicates a lack of respect for self. Ex. I’m okay, you’re not.

Aggression is part of the masculine design, we are hardwired for it…. Little girls do not invent games where large numbers of people die, where bloodshed is a prerequisite for having fun. – John Eldredge

assertive (adj) self-assured, bold or confident; direct; decisive.

Shows respect for self while respecting others. Ex. I’m okay, you’re okay.

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. – Anthony Robbins

Know thyself. Honor your wants, needs, and values. Have the confidence to stand up for and express your true self.

This is feminine.

More Examples