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She is sending a message to girls everywhere, particularly girls of color who may feel like they don’t have a lot of options, that you can earn your own money, enter a relationship with a man because you want to not because you financially need to, and when he’s shown you he’s deserving, you can give him the privilege of making a lifetime commitment to you and then you will give him the gift of a child. Not only when you both feel ready to do it but when you know you’re both ready to be the best parents you can be. – Keli Goff, Why Policymakers Should Rejoice at News of Beyonce’s Pregnancy

Unless, God forbid, you are raped,

YOU choose who YOU reproduce and when YOU reproduce.

Life is not a fairytale nor does it follow fairy tales.

Reality is what YOU make it.

Given the known consequences, how could anyone intelligently not

Aim high


A man’s greatest fear is insignificance. His sense of self-worth arises out of his accomplishments. They arise out of his need for self-admiration and primal belief that he can accomplish anything that he sets his mind to conquer. Men measure themselves and other men by accomplishments.
from What Women Never Hear

Simple translation: only he can create his significance.

significance (n) importance; consequence; the quality of being significant or having a meaning.

While either may occur as a result of significance, neither fame nor money equal significance. Be clear.

If he is insignificant, catching a catch implies significance. Unfortunately, she has accepted him in an unworthy state and he knows it. He will lose respect for her.

For the feminine woman, simply avoid insignificant men and most especially those who attempt to obtain significance through immoral and/or illegal means.

If he is significant, ultimately only a catch will do.

Be a catch!

  1. Try not to take anything personally when it comes to dating. Someone always has their own deal going on. We waste all this time trying to figure a dude out when really their motivations are beyond our grasp and often have absolutely nothing to with us at all.
  2. Don’t chase after a guy who has rejected you. Not even as a friend. Move on.
  3. Protect yourself and protect your heart, because no one else is going to.
  4. There’s no such thing as soul mates. There’s just guys who are well suited for you and guys who are not. If you stop looking for “the one” you will be open to “the one that’s good for you.”
  5. Let the guy pursue you … at least for a while. They enjoy that. Don’t spoil their fun.

from 22 Things I Wish I Knew About Dating When I Was 22

Just by chance, I caught a profile on JJ Hat Center.

It reminded me so much of my grandfathers

. . . and men looking like men.

My, my! Yeah, a well dressed man in a hat is now at the top of my list.

Right there with jazz 🙂

Honesty is a cornerstone of good character. Dishonesty creates drama.

And feminine women do not do drama.

Take ownership of your life and your relationships. These are your choice. To blame anyone else for either of these choices is weak, unattractive, and patently dishonest.

Exhibiting authenticity and sound character weeds out unsuitable mates before you have to deal with them. You are constantly non-verbally communicating your standards to everyone. This allows a man to determine whether or not to approach you based on his self-assessment. 

Verbally expressing your expectations with grace and honesty effectively communicates that you are a feminine woman who is not to be trifled with. You can do this without drama, direct criticism, or attitude. This allows him to eliminate himself, if necessary, without negativity on your part.

“I am so impressed with a man who furthers (or completes, etc.) his education.”

“I expect honesty and I’m not interested in being is a relationship with anyone who is dishonest.”

“I don’t take adult men who still live at home with their mothers seriously.”

This shows honesty, true strength, and vulnerability.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

The sooner you put it out there, the better. Begin as a feminine woman because there is no rewind.

You generally do not go from hook-up to housewife.

*This does not work with materialism. It is a contradiction to lead with character but value status symbols. You will look like a gold digger (unfeminine).

75% of men find this hobby most attractive in women

‘Tis certainly food for thought!