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This world is a big and beautiful place.

If you are going to paint yourself into a corner, make sure that it is to your benefit.

Otherwise, you are setting yourself up as a victim and limiting your access to the bounty.

I argue that white Americans should be called European-Americans if I have to subject myself to being called African-American. I prefer just American, but Black will do in the interim. I find African-American to be offensive because I have no ties to Africa. I live and breathe America. African-American implies that I immigrated from Africa to America.

I’ve investigated and most white people that I know have much closer relations to Europe than I do to Africa (which makes me more American, no?). A grandfather from Italy, a great-uncle from Germany. For my family ties to be traced back to Africa, you would literally have to go back more than 10 generations. I actually have closer ties to Ireland than Africa. – Christiana B

Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. – Miguel Angel Ruiz

If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim. – Richard Bach

Accept reality. It is no one else’s responsibility to rescue you. And no one is going to do it.

Take responsibility for yourself and your children. Pointing, blaming, and hating others does not change your situation. Besides, what you think upon grows.

Don’t discriminate. People are people. Seek a like-mind, knowledge, and truth in whomever you find them.

Do for self and

Do it now.

Your life is what you make it.

Female approval carries a gravity that few are willing to take responsibility for.

Your perceptions drive what you expect, believe, and accept regarding yourself and other people.

A victim mentality blames everyone except self (most notable when the person is the only constant across varying situations). It releases the person to expect, receive, and be less than.

A slave mentality needs permission from anyone or anything outside of self (most notable when the person is an autonomous adult in a free country). It releases the person to expect, receive, and be less than.

This extends across the board – from personal behavior to culture in general.

Check your lane.

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable. – Dr. Joyce Brothers

I don’t know if men like vulnerability in women or not but I think it takes a very secure person to be vulnerable. To let someone see your weaknesses is a sign of trust and insecure people are incapable of being that real. funforaday

Even though I am strong, I relish his protectiveness. Even though I am capable, I treasure the things he does for me. Even though I am decisive, I value our collaborations, which lead to even greater results. Even though I am creative, I “wiggle and giggle” when he thoughtfully creates a date for us and makes it a special event, full of surprises. Patty

The lack of or failure to show vulnerability is the result of baggage. It leads to poor choices, a victim mentality, and a cycle of struggle. It is the mark of defeat.

Expressing vulnerability while possessing no strength at all, shows insecurity and neediness. It expends a lot of energy leading to unfortunate choices and may create a victim. It is a negative indication weakness.

Feminine vulnerability is effortless for the woman who possesses true strength. Because she does her part, her choices are solid and she succeeds regardless of outcome.

Dependent (adj) relying on someone or something else for aid, support, or whatever is needed; inability to stand alone; subordinate.

She gives away the majority of her power and in the process becomes a puppet; subject to neediness, blaming others, and/or a victim mentality.

Independent (adj) reliant on self for aid, support, or whatever is needed; not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; autonomous; free.

She keeps the majority of her power, is perceived as a “strong, black woman” and/or masculine, and is treated as such – left alone to do her own thing.

Interdependent (adj) relying on mutual assistance, support, cooperation, or interactions; mutually dependent.

She gives away some of her power and in turn, receives some power from others as evidenced by her fulfilling friendships, alliances, and partnerships. She maintains her own identity (sense of freedom, purpose, and happiness) while being mutually responsible to others.