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You don’t get in life what you want;

You get in life what you are.

– Les Brown

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. – Frederick Douglass

on Proper Guidance

Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. – 14th Dalai Lama

Personal Responsibility II

No one can persuade another to change.

Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.

We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal.

– Marilyn Ferguson

You can only control you.

Choosing to focus on what other people do or do not do entangles you in

your version of their problem

rather than

your vision of your solution.


What you think upon grows.

Try something new.

Nothing endures but change. – Heraclitus

Change is inevitable. Change is constant. – Benjamin Disraeli

virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

adaptability (n) a virtue; the ability to change to fit changed circumstances in order to succeed; to maintain effectiveness in a changing environment; to adjust by gathering relevant information and applying critical thinking for your benefit.

If you are on a road to nowhere, find another road. – Unknown

Bend and you will be straight. – Tao Tzu

Donkey in the Well

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw. As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey did something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. Shake it off and take a step up.

Moanin’ and groanin’ does not help your plight. Shut it up and step up your game. – Auntie Vanessa

Stay in the best light 🙂

Shortcuts to femininity result in the equivalent of lipstick on a pig.

You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. – Abraham Lincoln

The Ass and His Purchaser

A Man wished to purchase an Ass, and agreed with its owner that he should try out the animal before he bought him. He took the Ass home and put him in the straw-yard with his other Asses, upon which the new animal left all the others and at once joined the one that was most idle and the greatest eater of them all. Seeing this, the man put a halter on him and led him back to his owner. On being asked how, in so short a time, he could have made a trial of him, he answered, “I do not need a trial; I know that he will be just the same as the one he chose for his companion.”

Moral:  A man is known by the company he keeps.

Set yourself apart

The Ants and the Grasshopper

The ants were spending a fine winter’s day drying grain collected in the summertime. A Grasshopper, perishing with famine, passed by and earnestly begged for a little food. The Ants inquired of him, “Why did you not treasure up food during the summer?’ He replied, “I had not leisure enough. I passed the days in singing.” They then said in derision: “If you were foolish enough to sing all the summer, you must dance supperless to bed in the winter.”

Moral: Prepare for want before it comes

Get a handle on your money

The Fox and the Goat

A Fox one day fell into a deep well and could find no means of escape. A Goat, overcome with thirst, came to the same well, and seeing the Fox, inquired if the water was good. Concealing his sad plight under a merry guise, the Fox indulged in a lavish praise of the water, saying it was excellent beyond measure, and encouraging him to descend. The Goat, mindful only of his thirst, thoughtlessly jumped down, but just as he drank, the Fox informed him of the difficulty they were both in and suggested a scheme for their common escape. “If,” said he, “you will place your forefeet upon the wall and bend your head, I will run up your back and escape, and will help you out afterwards.” The Goat readily assented and the Fox leaped upon his back. Steadying himself with the Goat’s horns, he safely reached the mouth of the well and made off as fast as he could. When the Goat upbraided him for breaking his promise, he turned around and cried out, “You foolish old fellow! If you had as many brains in your head as you have hairs in your beard, you would never have gone down before you had inspected the way up, nor have exposed yourself to dangers from which you had no means of escape.

Moral: Look before you leap.

Be mindful

Failures in either of these areas is a sign that something is amiss. Men actually do pay attention to more than the physical.

The genuine article will always be the most highly valued. Even if an imitation is good, when the real thing comes along, it is recognized and pursued.

The fake is simply abandoned.


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

– William Ernest Henley

Making excuses, pointing fingers, and assigning blame to anyone or anything is a flashing neon sign of a simple-minded adult.

The successes and failures of your life rest on you.

The rest of the world recognizes and accepts this. If you don’t, you will be judged as less than, treated accordingly, and left behind.

Personal Responsibility

  1. Giving away freely that which feminine women and even prostitutes have the sense to place value on.
  2. Dressing and behaving as a whore with the expectation of being regarded as anything other than a whore.
  3. Being a doormat in the name of submitting. Clue: submission is born of genuine esteem for a man. Women do not esteem men who are less than they are (see #4) and therefore do not willingly submit to them.
  4. Entertaining males with potential (under achievers), criminals, and any other male of obviously low character.
  5. Willingness to suspend objectivity, discernment, and self respect.

desperation (n) recklessness arising from despair; the state of being desperate

desperate (adj) having lost all hope; driven by great need or distress; acting out of extreme urgency or as a last resort

Both men and women can sense desperation. Only those intent on exploitation are attracted by it. Everyone else is repulsed by it.

Be confident, worthy, and secure . . . because faking it just does not work.

The saying “a woman’s place is in the home” is just wrong – on so many levels. It’s “a wife and mother’s priority is the home”. – one of my very astute grown man cousins

And if she doesn’t recognize it, there’s bound to be problems! – Grandma (said very pointedly to my much younger male cousins)

There was lots of agreement on that statement. It’s rare that anyone disagrees with Grandma anyway but this is just true.

And husband before children. – one my aunts.

Now we have Thanksgiving Day dissension 🙂

All of the men agreed, the long married women agreed, but almost none of the younger women agreed. Only the engaged one and the two in serious relationships even stuck around to listen to grown folks talk.

Oh well . . .

The soft-headed woman makes many poor decisions, because she fails to accept that children are passersby in her marriage and temporaries in husband’s castle. What Women Never Hear

Sellout – to compromise one’s principles in exchange for money, success, or personal gain; to betray a cause (to which you have subscribed) for personal advancement.

Bougie – short for bourgeois; middle or upper class; any class that is perceived as higher from a lower class perspective.

Bourgeois – from Old French; originally referred to a member of the property-owning class or a capitalist; currently refers to the middle-class and/or middle-class values.

These terms are generally spoken by those who are less than – people who are stagnant.

On a planet which constantly turns, where the natural order is toward growth, and in time that waits for no one, to be stagnant equals death.

Keeping it real literally means staying true to yourself or being authentic.

How others define you is absolutely irrelevant.

How you define yourself is colossal.

New information can come from anywhere and anyone. Ultimately, it is your choice whether or not to absorb and act on it.

When deciding, always, always, always employ objectivity and skepticism.

    Both are virtues.

    virtue (n) an example of moral goodness or excellence.

    objectivity (n) a virtue; the ability to discern what is real without being biased by self-interest, exceptions rather than rules, fantasy, or emotion; the quality of being accurate and independent of individual perceptions.

    skepticism (n) a virtue; any questioning attitude, or degree of doubt regarding anything that is generally taken for granted; critical thinking based on the possibility of error due to lack of objectivity.

    Being objective and skeptical differ greatly from the outright ignoring or discrediting of information simply because you don’t like it. Objectivity and skepticism require intelligence and maturity. They also require an openness which is very feminine. A rigid or closed off attitude indicates ignorance at best.

    Ask how it benefits you to believe or not to believe.

    Ask how it benefits others if you believe or don’t believe.

    Keep yourself in the best possible light.